Fighting for what i love!

What an interesting year so far i can't believe over half of it has gone already! 4 months since i last blogged too haha I'm a shocker.
I have no idea where this blog/rant may go but anyway here i go.......

I knew coming into this year it was going to be a year of finding balance and reevaluating things in my life. This year to date has been one interesting  roller coaster but finally i feel like I'm seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Completion of studies i had put off for some time has lifted some stress, learning to say no to things and people in my life gives me that sense of control again, not being afraid to ask for help when needed is helping me with acceptance so there fore i do feel like things are starting to move in the direction i want. I am starting to finally believe in me again :)

People have blamed post comp blues for my headspace that i have been in the past few months, i know in myself it was more then that my headspace began before comp was over due to things in my life i was not happy with, since then slowly i have made those changes and tada my headspace is starting to turn around. (Still a few things i have to work on).

One thing i have learnt but still working on is.... Food is not the solution to ones problem lol. I'm back working with my coach again, i stopped working with him post comp due to my silly head which was probably the least smartest thing i ever did i was so worried i would fail in front of him. Hmm won't ever be doing that again. He has been amazing support and i am so grateful to be part of an inspiring, motivated and genuine team.

Currently i am 14 weeks from starting prep for my next show (34 Weeks out) Food has improved HEAPS, Training is great my biggest goals coming into this next show is fuller shoulders, arms and upper back to balance out my thicker framed legs, I'm also hoping to be leaner so i do have my work cut out for me :P The challenge is on! I'm finding having these goals to work for has lifted my intensity in my training, my passion to compete has been reunited with me and i am willing to put in the hard work to get what i want.

Mindset is everything, and i can't thank Mick enough for the encouragement and belief he has and shows for me :) You have taught me how to start to believe in me again!

I'm ready to work hard each and every day to be the person i really want to be!
My journey to the stage season 3 is underway.... this is where i will keep you updated with where and what i am up too : )

THE TIME IS NOW

Already counting down

Wow a month since my last blog I'm such a shocker!

Well i have picked the next show i am wanting to do....

FitX IFBB Amateur show in Melbourne March 2013.

I went to the one this year a couple of weeks ago and it was total inspiration plus : ) 50.5 weeks haha i love my count downs!!! I got to meet some of the amazing people in this industry International Pro's such as Nicole Wilkins, Erin Stern, Larissa Reis, Alicia Harris. And some amazing Aussie athletes too :) All in all the weekend was incredible and i got to share it with some new great friends!!! Thank you Mick for getting me there : )

So what's the plan for the next 50.5 Weeks????

I'm all about bringing something new to the stage each time i step up on there hence why i have time off to work on my areas that i'd like to improve... the goal this time round is to bring up my back, shoulders and arms as i feel my legs are quite dominating lol. I'm constantly tweeking my diet to reboot my metabolism (something i do struggle with in the offseason). And week be week i am making an improvement YAY me! I am sitting a LOT higher on the scales than i would like to be I'm hoping the more i stick to the "plan" my body composition will change and i'll get back to a more happy place.... Progression... right??? Not Perfection!!!

Training has been GREAT I'm really enjoying it at the moment I tend to train a lot on my own recently i have done a few sessions with others which has pushed me which i really liked so i think i will incorporate that a little more often.

Now that comp season is underway i always wish it was me getting ready but i know that i much prefer to have that year off, go to the drawing board and make a plan of attack last thing i want is hoping back up on stage bringing the same thing! 30 weeks till prep starts... What i do now will determine what i look like on stage this time next year i'm looking forward to training my butt off (literally hehe) and making better choices with food selections in the offseason its a lifestyle not a DIET!

My goal is to come into this next show knowing i have given it my all! In saying that time to smash out my Wednesday HIIT session!

Stay tuned for my journey to the stage ROUND 3 : )

THE TIME IS NOW!

Ready or not....Life.... It happens!

You know those days you find yourself ready to explode screaming on the inside "Something has got to give"?! Well i have had quite a few as of late!

It seems that sometimes you just have to wake up and smell the roses, get off the roller coaster of life and realise nothing is going to change unless you make it happen so that is what i am in the process of currently doing... Making some changes, some good, some bad, some hard, some scary some exciting but at the end of the day what doesn't kill us makes you stronger, you never know unless you try right?!

I know a lot of people out there have liked to put "post comp blues" as my cause of not being happy but to be honest maybe just a little in the sense that i'm not sitting where i'd like to be but also looking back comp masked a lot of my unhappiness as it was the one thing i gave my full focus and energy too and i actually shut off to any other feeling cos i feel complete and happy when i am in comp prep.

My last blog spoke about finding balance in my life and i definitely feel that I'm on the right track there. I have a wonderful support network out there from family, friends and collegues that have been able to help me head in the right direction. (You all know who you are). I'm a person who gets easily overwhelmed before taking a breather and realising all will be ok (Thank you Mick for always being there to remind me everything will be ok).

This year will be the beginning of a journey i hope to achieve close to this time next year, i know i'm still in for ups and downs, making sacrifices but most of all SELF BELIEF. Like the saying goes.. You only have one life!!! I'm ready to live this life the way i want, with who i want and how i want.

Here's to a year of making CHANGES!

With or without my mojo..... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

Whoops... Time to perfect BALANCE!!!

Well it's been over a month since my last blog, hmmm whats happened... Christmas... New Years, time flys!!!

WHOOPS!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Years Eve!!! Oh and Happy Australia day for the other day :)

It's has been over 4 months now since my last comp and have i got my shit together NOPE!!! Every week i start my plan fresh and positive and every week i let myself down, some people say it shouldn't be that hard you can diet and be strict leading up to your comp what changes after??? Well i know with me it's my headspace, everyone handles things different no ones comp experience is the same as anyone else the way they diet, exercise, respond, self motivate, everyone deals and handles things there own way so post comp some people are fine and are able to keep things together i know myself it's a huge battle. I put a lot of pressure on myself this time round thinking that because i had experienced post comp blow out after my first comp (remember this is still only my second season) i would be fine and know better... hmmm not the case at all, that emotional inner eating machine surfaced and has created some major headgames with me over the past few months :(

What is done is done and all i can do is move on and improve right?! Each week as of late has become better and better i am recognising triggers and i have an amazing support network out there from you guys (you know who you are :) )

I have already started to look at which show i am doing but it won't be until next year! This year is all about finding balance and being happy with myself something i really need to work on. As i have said in the past i really want there to be very little difference with on season and off season i want it to be my lifestyle to be fit and healthy year round, i don't want to come into each comp in the future slogging myself because post comp i become too relaxed and care free.

2012 will be the year i focus on the above.... So here is my journey....

With or without my mojo..... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

Learning how to say "No" again

Well almost a week has past since my last blog ( hey i am doing better at least it isn't months hehe) And my plan for last week... AGAIN... FAIL :(

But brand new week brand new attitude : )

*This week I WILL stick to my macros

*This week I WILL do all my sessions planned

*This week I WILL be happy

...... WHY????......

Because this is what i want and i chose to be this way : )

Right now all that is important is my happiness and by achieving what i want will bring my happiness... Santa i hope your listening hehe.

I am a person who likes structure, plans and deadlines this is why when i am prepping i feel right at home. I tend to go a little off track afterwards because i don't really have a so called plan in place ( I do but i don't realize it at the time) I really want my "on season" and "offseason" to be close i love how i feel when i eat clean, exercise regularly and make sure i get sufficient rest. For some reason i talk myself into eating junk to feel "normal" Well if that's normal i don't want to be normal :( I am already mentally preparing for my next show now i just got to get myself physically to where i would like to be sitting and tada the show rolls on!

Anyhow my Monday has started off the week great, 6am start 2 clients, step class, train, another client, work and a shbam class i think sometimes being busy is the key its the days i have a lil too much time to myself i turn to the panty or the closest 7 eleven, This week it's not going to be the case this week no matter what i WILL stick to the plan : ) I am going to keep you guys updated via Facebook and Twitter just so i feel accountable to anyone who wants to whip my ass if i fall off the wagon again lol! I do plan to have a treat meal come the weekend but that is it!

Time for me to get ready to start work....Day 2... BRING IT ON!!!

I've been in hiding...

So it's been quite sometime since i blogged last ...

Why???

I'm going to be open and honest... I haven't been in the most pleasant headspace since prep finished some may say "post comp blues" but to be honest i think it was more then just that, i think life just happened and i was not ready to face the real world and all i had been putting aside over the past few months because my main focus for was getting to that stage!

Hmm where to start...

Well Training, i have missed a few sessions here and there not many though other then that i have been going great with that keeping it up, mixing it up and trying to focus on putting on some nice thick muscle in a few areas that i'd really like to develop more (Upper Back & Shoulders). Training is not only great for my health and fitness goals of competing but i love my training for mental purposes as well, when i don't train i get angry.

Nutrition on the other hand :( I have really let myself down in this area! You know how they say "Abs are made in the Kitchen" well apparently so can the disappearance of abs too! I really thought i would have handled these so called binges better but i haven't and i have noone but my silly little headspace to blame. But i am no longer going to beat myself up about it this what i have done over the past few weeks which has lead to spiraling out and guess what??? BINGEING again. im not happy with where my weight is sitting so i have set myself some mini goals and i am determined to achieve these. I don't want to be one of those offseason competitors that have to lose 10 plus kg every season i don't want to treat my body like a dumping ground, i feel like shit i look like shit so why do it right??? No more excuses this is not the way i want to live!!!

Xmas is round the corner and honestly i am a little nervous but really is it a reason to go silly in the food department??? Those foods are and will always be a round so no need to eat like i'll never see it again hehe! It's all about smart choices.

My focus at the moment is to just take each day as it comes don't worry bout yesterday or the days to come just do what i can do in the moment right here, right now! So far this week has been off to a great start ( a lil tired and stressed) I'm just doing my best each and every day to be happy cause at the end of the day that is what matters. I'm hoping to blog a lil more regularly ( i know i know i have said this before) .

I really want to thank everyone out there that has been extremely supportive this year a few i would like to mention Mick, Sarah , Mum & Dad, Layne & Isabel, Jodie & Shane, Lou & Marley, Tracey, Sue,Val, Stu, Dan & Fairly, Shannon, Skye, Nicky,Vic, Kristin, Tiarna, My M'bah Gym buddies, my new friends from World Gym Ashmore and everyone out there who has helped me achieve what i have ( sorry if i missed you but i know there is so many out there i would like to thank). Also a special mention to my amazing sponsor Nutrition Warehouse.

Until next time... Train Hard, Eat clean and Believe!!!

With or without my mojo the time is NOW!!!

The journey has been, the storm has come and now I'm riding the waves!

Since my last post lots has happened.....

I competed in my very first IFBB show WOOHOO a major goal i was wanting to achieve this year. It took a lot in my head to stay committed to this show as i was extremely scared to go into a non tested show as a natural i constantly worried i just wasn't going to be good enough and that i would not look right up on that stage. Well i had a ball and i am so glad i did this show what a great experience :) To make it up on the stage was just amazing but to even be in quite a number of call outs i left this show feeling satisfied and proud of myself : ) i am told that i came 4th out of a pretty big line up so im pretty pumped about that as well.

So what was the next plan...... I had booked in a photo shoot and was planning to also do the INBA Universe but in the end cancelled photo shoot and decided that my heart was not in it to do the Universe as it was not really in "the plan" anyway it was just a "what's 2 more weeks dieting? heck i'll do it" well in the end my head just didn't want to go there again and i was more then satisfied with what i had achieved in the 2 shows i had planned to do : ) In total 2 x 1st places a 4th and a 5th. Not only that i have also scored an amazing sponsorship with a fantastic company Nutrition Warehouse which i am extremely overwhelmed by : )

Here comes the bit that i was scared of the most... The aftermath.... FOOD.... FOOD and more FOOD!!! As you may know i work with macro nutrients and after my comps my coach gave me my new macros & cardio plan to work with which basically doubled my intake.... was that enough apparently NOT!!! For the past 3 weeks i have been battling hard with the constant head games of gorging myself :( I really thought i would have handled this much better and some days i am totally feeling in control and stick to the plan other days i just lose it and find myself alone eating like there is about to become a famine :( No seriously the average person would think yeah what ever Hannah i literally eat until i hurt :( I eat food i don't even like, i hate how it makes me feel, i hate how i look and the spiral continues and guess what more food!!! I was even so embarrassed to tell my coach but finally decided it was best i brought it up he told me more people go through this then you think! I remember after my last comp i felt like one day i woke up and i was 10kg heavier ( which was only week after my comp) Not only that with my first comp my starting weight was 62kg stage weight 52kg i tipped the scales at 67kg at the beginning of 2010 and i promised myself i would never do that again. 2011 my starting weight was 64kg i got as low as 51kg for stage and now i am sitting between 54-57kg depending on obviously if i have had a gorging session or not!

After my first comp i planned to do another comp a year later in 2010 i couldn't i had smashed my metabolism so much that my body just would not respond when trying to drop weight this was when i started working with my coach and for the rest of 2010 to pre comp prep we worked on getting my metabolism fired up again! I do not want to go down that path again. I know that stage weight is not maintainable i do know you need to put on a little bit of weight my aim is to keep it minimal as possible. If i do not take control of these binges ASAP this will not happen. I am the only one that can make this happen. I have some had amazing support from some special guys and girls and i want to thank them all so much! Today is a brand new day and i am ready to take action! Winners are made in the offseason... I want to live a healthy, happy lifestyle. And at the end of the day what i want is all that matters. My life... My choices! Today is the day WITH OR WITHOUT MY MOJO i start preparing the stepping stones to my next goal. No one can prepare you for post comp blues and it was something that was on the back of my mind through prep.

I can't thank Mick enough for supporting me through all these highs and lows he has been amazing the belief he has in me is just utterly amazing! I would not achieved what i have without his encouragement, love and passion for this sport as well. THANK YOU MICK :)

Well the show must go on... Time to slog out another weights session... new program... new mindset... NEW ME : )

I WILL CONQUER....... BOOYA!!!