WARNING... a lil on the not so happy train!!!
Yet again its been way to long between posts, not that i haven't wanted to blog but my headspace hasn't been in a very good place as of late. You know one of those downward spirals you just seem to struggle to find your feet on.... That's where i have been at... a lot of self hate due to my decision making and yet again it all comes down to the well known stupid excuse "Emotional Eating"
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Is the question i continue to ask why do i self sabotage myself time and time again when the end result is straight up simple I FEEL LIKE SHIT afterwards, does it satisfy the emotion ...NO, has it helped the problem...NO, will i learn from it I BLOODY HOPE SO... is doing this getting me to my goals and "happy place"... NO.
I know this is where i need to kick myself in the ass and gain control but why do i always wait for someone else to shake the shit out of me and say "snap out of it" It's not going to happen!!!
If i want to achieve results, if i want to head in the directions where i want to be ONLY I can make this happen. I just need to remind myself each and everyday what i want, why i want it, and how i am going to get it. Take each day as it comes.
On the other hand.... Training has been going great its been very consistent since comp in Sept. I'm really hopping i have put on some nice muscle and able to present a more balanced and improved physique i already can see changes in my body shape as compared to pre-comp last year which is good : ) 5 weeks and the games for me begin, I'm really looking forward to comp prep to begin i really enjoy the whole experience i learnt a lot about myself last year and different ways the body responds to exercise, foods, sleep, emotions. Not only that i know what I'm in for this year hehe its not going to be a walk in the dark woods it will be a pretty clear path ahead of me!
I really want to thank some of the great support out there in blog land, i have made some awesome friends a special mention to Kristin and Tiarna you girls rock thank you for listening to me and helping me through the tough times i hope i can be there for you girls when the road is a bit rocky!!!
This Friday I'm training with Kristin at my gym ( i love having the keys to my gym hehe) I'm really looking forward to it and the catch up : ) I'm pretty new to the training with people but i have already learnt lots from others.
It's my Birthday this Saturday and some events have come up for that Thursday night work dinner, Friday my dads birthday , Saturday Picnic at the Beach and Sunday BLOODY EASTER! Why is the world full of temptations ahhhh hehe! Just have to remind my self i have the choice of what i want to do in situations like this WISH ME LUCK hehe!