Brighter side : )

Well this week i've been feeling much better after Sundays bunch of cookies, loads of tears and a reality check!!

Thing is i've been waiting for my mojo to return, but why would it??? Comp is almost 12mths away i need to bring it back! So I'm bringing it back..... Mojo = Over powering the mind hehe!!!

Went and watched my friend compete on the weekend on the Sunny coast in IFBB OMG sorry guys if you are a fan but i found it the most worst run show and the Judging hmm don't get me started there!!!

Even though i know its known to be a "non-natural" comp its still amazing seeing different structures of the female body, my friend i went to watch just did the switch from bodybuilding to her first figure, i thought she looked amazing and shone on stage, but i guess her figure was not what they were after on the day!

Im finding taking each day as it comes better, still having food prepared and planned a lil has kept me on track this week so going to try stay positive!

Sorry for the rararaing headspace lil confused at the moment!

Positive attitude positive results my moto of the week xoxo

Finding Balance!

Well yet another week has gone by and i still haven't been able to get my shit together it's like a bloody roller coaster i tell you one minute you feel like you are ready to conquer and then the next your stuffing your face to make you happy ... does it make you happy.... NO!!!! Its a horrible circle that i'm struggling to cope with but I'm trying to take each day as it comes.

I'm starting my week with eating clean and not so much counting my numbers i have dieted long enough to know what portion sizes should look like and how much protein, carbs and fat are in what i eat, I'm doing this so i feel like I'm not on a "diet" anymore, cause really I'm not dieting anymore I'm wanting to eat to be fit healthy and find a balance for where my body wants to sit at a healthy weight range and try keep body fat down! Small steps are the key!

I like how i feel mentally, and physically when i eat this way, unfortunately i continue to tell myself I'm an emotional eater so therefore i eat for comfort (for f**k sake Hannah snap out of it) And guess what i feel even more worse afterwards which i new i would... so why do i do it... sometimes i think i do it to feel "normal" or to "fit in", one thing i did really miss over comp prep was socializing, i didn't spend much time with many friends due to them not understanding my goal etc or it was just putting myself near temptation! Its really no excuse friends and ppl should not judge you for what you eat and how you enjoy to exercise! BUT THEY DO!

Anyway this week I'm also focusing on trying not to get caught up on what others say or what there opinions are! I need to do what's best for me and what's going to make me happy!

Time to kick in the MOJO magic and beat the blues!

If any of you girls have tips on this or want to share there journey on post comp maintenance feel free to comment or drop me an email at spakadaka@hotmail.com.

Enjoy your week you fit peps and i'll drop by again soon!

What next...

Well it seems two more weeks of dieting was just to much for me or what i thought anyway! So no Aussie titles for me just 3 days in Melbourne on a gorge fest with my partner i seriously think my diet consisted of Mud cake, cookies and chocolate the whole time i was there! : (

TIME TO SNAP OUT OF THOSE OLD HABITS RESURFACING!

I have now eaten everything i craved over the past 4 mths and you know what... none of it satisfied me all made me feel like shit and all i kept thinking was how good my body felt on my pre comp diet, so after catching up with some friends yesterday for a BBQ today is the start of getting my food back under wraps starting with mmm an omelette and oats already feeling full and satisfied!

Its funny how you perceive food, I'm an emotional eater (or thats what i tell myself) i can put away a lot of food ... but why?.... It makes me more depressed then b4 and i feel and look like shit after! Its all in the mind!

Since comp i've felt a lil lost, i feel like i have achieved what i wanted but what's next????

***A NEW GOAL***

- Maintain a healthy eating plan with the weekly cheat meal or two

- Build more muscle for 2010 comps

- Be happy with what i have achieved in 2009

- Sit at a weight that is realistic to maintain

I continually want to blog i feel to some extent it makes me feel accountable i also enjoy sharing my journey so that others can see they are not alone and experience similar hiccups on there journey to the stage!

Well its time to beat this post comp blues !!!

: ) BOOYA BABY