Learning how to say "No" again

Well almost a week has past since my last blog ( hey i am doing better at least it isn't months hehe) And my plan for last week... AGAIN... FAIL :(

But brand new week brand new attitude : )

*This week I WILL stick to my macros

*This week I WILL do all my sessions planned

*This week I WILL be happy

...... WHY????......

Because this is what i want and i chose to be this way : )

Right now all that is important is my happiness and by achieving what i want will bring my happiness... Santa i hope your listening hehe.

I am a person who likes structure, plans and deadlines this is why when i am prepping i feel right at home. I tend to go a little off track afterwards because i don't really have a so called plan in place ( I do but i don't realize it at the time) I really want my "on season" and "offseason" to be close i love how i feel when i eat clean, exercise regularly and make sure i get sufficient rest. For some reason i talk myself into eating junk to feel "normal" Well if that's normal i don't want to be normal :( I am already mentally preparing for my next show now i just got to get myself physically to where i would like to be sitting and tada the show rolls on!

Anyhow my Monday has started off the week great, 6am start 2 clients, step class, train, another client, work and a shbam class i think sometimes being busy is the key its the days i have a lil too much time to myself i turn to the panty or the closest 7 eleven, This week it's not going to be the case this week no matter what i WILL stick to the plan : ) I am going to keep you guys updated via Facebook and Twitter just so i feel accountable to anyone who wants to whip my ass if i fall off the wagon again lol! I do plan to have a treat meal come the weekend but that is it!

Time for me to get ready to start work....Day 2... BRING IT ON!!!

I've been in hiding...

So it's been quite sometime since i blogged last ...

Why???

I'm going to be open and honest... I haven't been in the most pleasant headspace since prep finished some may say "post comp blues" but to be honest i think it was more then just that, i think life just happened and i was not ready to face the real world and all i had been putting aside over the past few months because my main focus for was getting to that stage!

Hmm where to start...

Well Training, i have missed a few sessions here and there not many though other then that i have been going great with that keeping it up, mixing it up and trying to focus on putting on some nice thick muscle in a few areas that i'd really like to develop more (Upper Back & Shoulders). Training is not only great for my health and fitness goals of competing but i love my training for mental purposes as well, when i don't train i get angry.

Nutrition on the other hand :( I have really let myself down in this area! You know how they say "Abs are made in the Kitchen" well apparently so can the disappearance of abs too! I really thought i would have handled these so called binges better but i haven't and i have noone but my silly little headspace to blame. But i am no longer going to beat myself up about it this what i have done over the past few weeks which has lead to spiraling out and guess what??? BINGEING again. im not happy with where my weight is sitting so i have set myself some mini goals and i am determined to achieve these. I don't want to be one of those offseason competitors that have to lose 10 plus kg every season i don't want to treat my body like a dumping ground, i feel like shit i look like shit so why do it right??? No more excuses this is not the way i want to live!!!

Xmas is round the corner and honestly i am a little nervous but really is it a reason to go silly in the food department??? Those foods are and will always be a round so no need to eat like i'll never see it again hehe! It's all about smart choices.

My focus at the moment is to just take each day as it comes don't worry bout yesterday or the days to come just do what i can do in the moment right here, right now! So far this week has been off to a great start ( a lil tired and stressed) I'm just doing my best each and every day to be happy cause at the end of the day that is what matters. I'm hoping to blog a lil more regularly ( i know i know i have said this before) .

I really want to thank everyone out there that has been extremely supportive this year a few i would like to mention Mick, Sarah , Mum & Dad, Layne & Isabel, Jodie & Shane, Lou & Marley, Tracey, Sue,Val, Stu, Dan & Fairly, Shannon, Skye, Nicky,Vic, Kristin, Tiarna, My M'bah Gym buddies, my new friends from World Gym Ashmore and everyone out there who has helped me achieve what i have ( sorry if i missed you but i know there is so many out there i would like to thank). Also a special mention to my amazing sponsor Nutrition Warehouse.

Until next time... Train Hard, Eat clean and Believe!!!

With or without my mojo the time is NOW!!!

The journey has been, the storm has come and now I'm riding the waves!

Since my last post lots has happened.....

I competed in my very first IFBB show WOOHOO a major goal i was wanting to achieve this year. It took a lot in my head to stay committed to this show as i was extremely scared to go into a non tested show as a natural i constantly worried i just wasn't going to be good enough and that i would not look right up on that stage. Well i had a ball and i am so glad i did this show what a great experience :) To make it up on the stage was just amazing but to even be in quite a number of call outs i left this show feeling satisfied and proud of myself : ) i am told that i came 4th out of a pretty big line up so im pretty pumped about that as well.

So what was the next plan...... I had booked in a photo shoot and was planning to also do the INBA Universe but in the end cancelled photo shoot and decided that my heart was not in it to do the Universe as it was not really in "the plan" anyway it was just a "what's 2 more weeks dieting? heck i'll do it" well in the end my head just didn't want to go there again and i was more then satisfied with what i had achieved in the 2 shows i had planned to do : ) In total 2 x 1st places a 4th and a 5th. Not only that i have also scored an amazing sponsorship with a fantastic company Nutrition Warehouse which i am extremely overwhelmed by : )

Here comes the bit that i was scared of the most... The aftermath.... FOOD.... FOOD and more FOOD!!! As you may know i work with macro nutrients and after my comps my coach gave me my new macros & cardio plan to work with which basically doubled my intake.... was that enough apparently NOT!!! For the past 3 weeks i have been battling hard with the constant head games of gorging myself :( I really thought i would have handled this much better and some days i am totally feeling in control and stick to the plan other days i just lose it and find myself alone eating like there is about to become a famine :( No seriously the average person would think yeah what ever Hannah i literally eat until i hurt :( I eat food i don't even like, i hate how it makes me feel, i hate how i look and the spiral continues and guess what more food!!! I was even so embarrassed to tell my coach but finally decided it was best i brought it up he told me more people go through this then you think! I remember after my last comp i felt like one day i woke up and i was 10kg heavier ( which was only week after my comp) Not only that with my first comp my starting weight was 62kg stage weight 52kg i tipped the scales at 67kg at the beginning of 2010 and i promised myself i would never do that again. 2011 my starting weight was 64kg i got as low as 51kg for stage and now i am sitting between 54-57kg depending on obviously if i have had a gorging session or not!

After my first comp i planned to do another comp a year later in 2010 i couldn't i had smashed my metabolism so much that my body just would not respond when trying to drop weight this was when i started working with my coach and for the rest of 2010 to pre comp prep we worked on getting my metabolism fired up again! I do not want to go down that path again. I know that stage weight is not maintainable i do know you need to put on a little bit of weight my aim is to keep it minimal as possible. If i do not take control of these binges ASAP this will not happen. I am the only one that can make this happen. I have some had amazing support from some special guys and girls and i want to thank them all so much! Today is a brand new day and i am ready to take action! Winners are made in the offseason... I want to live a healthy, happy lifestyle. And at the end of the day what i want is all that matters. My life... My choices! Today is the day WITH OR WITHOUT MY MOJO i start preparing the stepping stones to my next goal. No one can prepare you for post comp blues and it was something that was on the back of my mind through prep.

I can't thank Mick enough for supporting me through all these highs and lows he has been amazing the belief he has in me is just utterly amazing! I would not achieved what i have without his encouragement, love and passion for this sport as well. THANK YOU MICK :)

Well the show must go on... Time to slog out another weights session... new program... new mindset... NEW ME : )

I WILL CONQUER....... BOOYA!!!

Recap of show...2011 Qld Inba State Titles

Wow well it's been and gone!

And this is the first chance i have had since the show to sit down and write about it.

Lets back track.....

Thursday:

Things were really starting to sink in that the show was coming up, i worked that morning and the vibe at work was great cause everyone has been counting down and getting excited with me : ) After work i had weights session to do then it was off with my lil sis to go shopping for all that girly stuff i'm not good at hehe! We got makeup, hair ext, jewelry and it was really nice getting to spend time with her. After hours of walking round grabbing this stuff was time to head home and jump on the bike for a cardio.

Friday:

I usually have an open shift getting up at 4:00am so it was nice to have a little sleep in! But as per usual i get lost when i am home by myself hehe so i headed off and got my nails done after spending some time trying to put in my hair extensions lol! Then back home organised food and procrastinated (something i have down to a fine art lol) That afternoon i headed into work where i did some circuit training!

Saturday:

Now the nerves were really starting to kick in.. Butterflies in my tummy !! That morning i got up and to a point was dreading my meals for he day they were basically Chicken, Sweet Potato and Peanut butter mmm what a combo lol! First lot of Tan was applied then was time to go do a light circuit and pick my sis and get ready to head to Brisvegas!

Got up there registered then off to where we were staying, while Mick headed off to train at our old favorite gym in Mt Gravatt - Club Bjs, my sister and i had a lil play with hair and how we were going to do it for the day... My idea = Curls... Hmm didn't happen lol but happy with what we did with it i really like to keep it simple anyway! Saturday flew by! I forced myself to try go to sleep at decent time but i just kept waking up!

Sunday:

Show day! Surprisingly i think i got my best sleep early hours of the morning and when my alarm went off i did not really want to get up! First up was a meal Mmm steak and sweet potato :) , Shower... Tan.... Hair... Makeup! Time to roll!

All i remember when we were driving there that i can't believe that it was time i had been wanting to a comp for such a long time and this time i finally got here again WOOHOO... GO ME! I was so glad to have Mick and Sarah with me they were such a great help leading up and supporting me though this journey!

I competed in two categories... Figure International Short class and Figure Intermediate. First up was Figure International which is only judged on symmetry poses. There was 18 girls in this lineup and to be honest i was quite hesitant to do this category but at last minute decided why not more time on stage :) I came 1st!!! Which put me in the lineup for Overall Figure International where i had to go up against the winner of the 40+ Figure International and Figure International Tall class this was bout 10 mins later and still is a lil foggy LOL but i won OVERALL OMG!!!! You should see my trophy it's bloody HUGE i remember nearly falling over with it on stage hehe!

After showing my trophy off to my wonderful supporters it was time to start getting ready again for the next line up. By this stage i was feeling rather flat and exhausted i really wished i had of put my feet up a lil more by the time i stepped on stage for figure intermediate (the category i was mainly doing) i was popped i struggled with posing and just was tired i got 5th out of 12 girls it was a really tough line up and from pics i think i was out muscled and not as lean as the others. I'm still happy with how i placed being my second show... I can't believe how fast the day came and went.

Afterwards i just couldn't wait for a shower. Mick and i headed home and decided to go out for a dinner date it's been a very long year the first half Mick prepped for his show in May and second half its been me, so it was lovely to go out and have a meal together.

So what's next??? Currently prepping for the next show that i am aiming to do in 5 days this will be my first IFBB comp which i am super excited about doing but at the same time scared. After this show i will evaluate on what's next my aim is to take each show as it comes and see how i feel after.. Possibly doing the Universe as well but like i said we will see. One thing at a time!

Well that's it for me started peak weak this week which always makes me a lil nervous... Now time to enjoy the journey... Watch this space... THE TIME IS NOW!

( I tried uploading more pics but i have very little patience lol)

And then there was 3 : )

Seriously i have not been this excited in a LONG time : )
The last time i think i counted down for something hmm was Phat camp last year lol. This week is flying by woohoo!
Still feel a lil funny about the food i am having at the moment but just trying my best to trust the process, my body seems to be responding well let's hope it stays that way. Yesterday i didn't get around to blogging i had a stinking headache think possibly due to the departure of my good friend Pepsi Max lol but by the time i got home after my split shift day at work i was seriously pooped it was a struggle to get everything organised for the day but made it to be by 9 to be up nice and early this morning!
Today is my last day at work till next Tuesday i finish at Midday have a training session to do then it's off to pick up my sis and do some girly shoping YAY!!
3 MORE SLEEPS....
May report in later about how day has been and where i am at!

5 sleeps :)

It's just like counting down till xmas lol!

Today started off with a refreshing walk along the beach front as the sun came up omg it was just a stunning morning i couldn't sleep each day i am getting more and more excited, the vibe on the footpath was great everyone was cheery and welcoming the day!

I then came home and started on the carbs OMG how full do i feel after today! My staple carb sources today was oats and banana and what a simple but yummy combination it was!

All fueled up i had an early morning Weights session on the cards as i had to be home for house inspection... First weights session for the week... Legs!!! Now let's just say even though i didn't go to my usual all out, kick ass, lift heavy shit typical leg day what i did do bloody burnt hehe i love training legs! A nice solid hour in the gym then it was home to prep rest of food for the day and back to the gym to work!

My lunch box had not looked so full in such a long time hehe not only that my poor lil belly by the end of the day is looking rather full too hehe!

I had a few testing moments arise through the day where meltdown mode nearly kicked in but with my amazing support crew i have i kept it together and all is sorted pheww!

So ready to bring on hump day, two more days of work then its time to get things all organised woohoo!

I see there is close to 200 people(and im sure there will be a more to register) competing this weekend it's going to be HUGE!

Well time to hit the sack thats if i contain my excitement hehe.... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

6 Days... (and counting)

So peak week has begun... i don't follow a traditional peak week which sometimes plays with my head a bit but i just got to stick to the plan and trust coach : )

Started my day off with my first cardio for the week and final HIIT session smashed it out on the spin bike. My quads are a lil sore from posing and the cardio sessions as of late but all is good.

Energy for today was great funny what a few extra carbs does lol! ( oh and hello veins) It's starting to really sink in not only am i excited but the excitement from people around me is so cool... Thanks guys!

Was really weird not teaching my Step and Jam class today but the break will be great it's been awhile since i have had a lil rest from them. I am working up until midday Thursday then its just organizing final bits and pieces, accessories, nails etc.

Wow how motivating was the Olympia those girls are just incredible and so are the guys! Oh i love getting goosebumps watching what i love! One day i will make it there and i will be like a kid in a candy store lol ; )

Well the sooner i head to bed another day is gone WOOHOO! Tomorrow is 5 Days BOOYA!

................Stay tuned for 5 days out : )

Enjoying the simple things Mmmmm.......