The Emotional eater!

Who else can relate to this topic?
Had a bad day… Eat! Tired …. Eat! Bored…Eat! Sad…. Eat! Happy…. Eat! Screw life….. Eat!….
Find a reason... EAT!!!!! Yep that can and has been me and the more people i talk to, mostly women open up about this can to relate.
Why talk about this well simple cause this is something i have struggled with for a LONG time my passion for exercise v's my passion for eating. One would think in the past that the more exercise i do the more i can eat….. what a joke i was telling myself!
Lets go back to the beginning…. Where does the emotional eater stem from? Well for me it was something i would say over and over to myself "I am an emotional eater" When you repeat something to yourself over and over again you start to believe this. It was not until one day not so long ago (post USA trip) i addressed this with myself, probably after a nice big binge session. "Hannah honestly why did you do this and how do you feel" Answer was "Because i have allowed this and i actually feel like shit" next question… What did it achieve? Answer = Nothing but the start of that harsh circle of negativity spiralling through my head! How do i fix this? make the decision to 1) stop telling myself I'm an emotional eater and 2) channel this energy into something more constructive that will make me feel better.
After my trip to America in May/June 2013 i found myself starting to get back in that headspace above and that was then when i made a commitment to myself instead of eating when i was feeling emotional i would save that emotion for my training and put it into my workouts, i worked with Layne post trip with a mini cut to get my weight back down to a place i felt more comfortable this is where i too addressed my issue with picking a number on the scales that i wanted to reach, for years i had a number in my head that is my "happy weight"! I went into this mini cut just enjoying the process and not being tied down by  thoughts of the decrease in food, or what the scales were saying! Not once did i feel like i was missing out, not once did i really care what the scales were saying and for once i accepted me for me, not what i was eating, not what i was weighing. I realised how much energy i had put into what when and how i was consuming food, what weight i was….. I was the only one that truly cared.
Once mini cut was done and i was feeling in a much better head space we started a reverse diet where we increased my intake for the past 7months.
(the above was written last thursday…. that night i let lose)
Why did this happen as always i allowed it and didn't address the usual questions of am i actually hungry or am i doing this to try satisfy an emotion?!?! The excuses i gave myself were * i am tired, *i am hormonal *  i am unorganised * i am out of routine. EXCUSES. I am much better at letting go and moving on and that is what i have done.
I think it's really important to have a supportive network you can turn to i am blessed to work with an amazing coach and a wonderful team as well as very supportive and encouraging friends. And to know that there are others out there that feel alone and battle this tough moments and days.
Remember at the end of the day the choice is yours, stop and ask yourself those questions and really take the time to answer yourself honestly. Find a nutrition plan/coach that offers you support and options, don't restrict yourself, don't be so hard on yourself. We all human we all have good and bad days yet some people are afraid to admit it.
Your journey is your own, enjoy life and remember that everything in moderation is good for you :)

And so it begins… Season number 4.

The time has come again to prepare for my next lot of comps… and I'm hoping to document my journey along the way. I am currently 23-25weeks out from the shows i am aiming for.
Since i last stepped on stage (March 2013) life has given me a whirl wind of events i've had to deal with that have made me a stronger, happier person and i am grateful for the fight i've put in to get to where i am mentally, physically and emotionally.
I have had a very productive offseason with my training and nutrition, there is always room for improvement but i feel the balance i have found has gotten me to a great spot right now.
My training has been very consistent and i am feeling the strongest ever. My nutrition has been the best in this offseason to date. Since i started competing i have always followed IIFYM in this off season i was able to get my numbers to 145g Protein, 315g Carbs and 78g fat a day roughly a lil over 2500 Cals and keep in mind i did have days i strayed from the plan.
My training consists with:-

Monday : Lower Power
Tuesday : Upper Power
Wednesday: HIIT + arms
Thursday: Back & Shoulder Hypertrophy
Friday : Legs Hypertrophy & HIIT
Saturday: Back, Shoulders &  Chest Hypertrophy
Sunday :HIIT + Arms

 I also teach 4 group fitness classes through the week

25 Weeks Out
Training = Same
Nutrition =
5 Days week -155g Protein, 165g Carbs, 50g Fat
2 days week 140g Protein, 300g Carbs, 55g Fats

Starting weight 65.55kg

Let the journey begin!

A special shout out to my Coach Layne Norton and the Team for constant support and amazing friendships.
A special menton to my sponsor Nutrition Warehouse thank you Grant Mayo and the Team for your help with my supplements all year round and the great friends i have made in this great community.
And to all the awesome people i meet, train, work with at Murwllumbah Fitness thank you for the awesome times and making what i love to do so much better with you all in it.

LETS ROLL!!!!

Start of comp prep 2012/13 vs Now… 1.5kg weight difference!

Holiday reflecting!!!

Yes again i have been missing but i have been busy planning, and on my first real overseas holiday which i went on my own :)
I left on May 22nd from Brisbane, a quick stop over in LA and first actual stop for the Trip was New York City. This is where i meet up with another Team Norton member Ebony who i had never met but planned via Facebook/skype, being another fellow Aussie in the big smoke we had a ball from Training in various gyms our Favourite was Bev Frances Power House Gym, we did the tourist stuff, attended the New York Pro and also experienced out very first Broadway show which i must say was still one of my highlights on this trip. I could have spent a month in New York it was great after 5-6 days next stop was Washington DC.
I trained it to Washington and finally arrived at my destination, the hotel i was staying was like a room from a horrer movie lol (I watch way too many scary movies)! Thankfully i was not their for too long! I enjoyed the sight seeing and riding the bike around the city. I was able to enjoy some nice meals i could fit to my macros as i was nice and close to a Whole Foods Supermarket!
From Washington i flew to Mobile, Alabama where Ebony had me there for a few days. We trained, went and viewed a BattleShip and headed to movies. Then our road trip to Clearwater was up next.
We didn't have great weather there but we did get in a good day at the beach and i got roasted ( i never learn) Another cool gym experience we trained Downtown Tampa at The Powerhouse Gym, there was great energy and we also saw Ifbb Pro Erin Stern training amongst the crowd. I can't thank Ebony enough for her hospitality and company and i hope to be able to return the favour next time you are home in Oz :).
The reason this holiday came about was that i was heading to attend Layne Norton's Natural Bodybuilding VIP camp as most know this incredible man is my coach and i was lucky enough to meet him in Australia in April this year, the camp was planned in December 2012 so it was a long time coming and something i was super excited for. I arrived in Tampa on Wednesday June 5th were i also meet up with some other Aussie team members and co. Getting settled in hear the following day we woke to tornado warnings.
Not only this trip was happening at this point in time my partner was about to become a dad, (This is the hard times i was dealing with through my last prep - but we have come through fighting and are stronger then ever) A very overwhelming moment to say the least, thankfully i have had some incredible support leading up and going through all this and this camp was just what i needed to be doing for myself.
There are really no words that describe how amazing the camp was getting to train with pros and experts in the industry left me speechless, also the knowledge these people shared was just mind blowing. I left camp feeling smarter hehe!! I now feel like I'm truly part of the Team Norton Family Layne and Isabel are wonderful people and all the people they brought to us campers were an amazing bunch i can't thank them enough for this opportunity. I still feel like i have post camp blues!!!
Next stop was Miami and everything that went wrong pretty much did not the best trip there but we live and learn i stayed here with a great group of Aussies, Joey, Courtney, Evan and Tom. After our lil adventures there next and final stop for me ... Orlando!
Got to meet up with Paul( from the camp) and his wife Misty and trained at Golds Gym another awesome gym! I attended Disney World which to be honest i was a lil let down by i guess I'm not that big kid i thought i was... Maybe it was the 35 degree heat or the 6hrs and only 3 rides bit.
And today my final day of holiday and i have decided to just put my feet up and hang out!
I have loved my trip the only thing that didn't go to plan was me hitting my macros I'm guessing i have put on 3-4kg which i am really not happy with as i had set a goal of not getting above a certain weight in the offseason and this would put me above that goal. So as of now i have set a goal to hit my macros and see where i am at on Saturday 22nd and Layne and i will decide whether i do a mini cut to get back to that weight again. I will report in next Saturday to see what happens.
Let the journey of balanced offseason body begin!!!!
Thank you for reading!!! xo

Time slips away when you are easily distracted 20 Weeks, 3 shows and Life in between!

Well blogging my journey to the stage 2013.... What the hell happened! I got through week 1 and then..... NOTHING lol so here is a lil recap on my 3rd  journey to the stage!

I started with a 20 week prep and starting weight was my heaviest to date 67kg!
My nutrition and exercise was probably the easiest prep so far i got to the stage eating more, doing less  cardio and the happiest i have felt with how i looked considering all the hiccups i faced along the way!

The hiccups:
At about 17 weeks out i finally took some time off work with my partner to just chill as it had been way to long, we had a great time went to a concert, spent time hanging out on the beach and we also got robbed while we were a sleep at home! 2 laptops a camera and my wallet :( first thing i was mostly worried about was the fact i couldn't track my food on my computer and then i realised 3 years of unsaved photo memories were also gone.... Devastated to say the least! But continued to push through this little challenging time.

Christmas approached fast which made me nervous as my previous preps always ended around christmas and this is where my blow outs usually happened post comp i saw this as a great way to look if i could get through Christmas sticking to the plan i could just about get through any event. It came, i saw i conquered!!!! And i even managed to fit my refeed on Christmas Day :)

Between Xmas and New Year i had some devastating news that involved my partner and has changed my life forever, here we are at about 11/12 weeks out this was when i just wanted to throw everything i was working towards out the window. I think having the focus of my goal to compete was what kept me sane to be honest in this hard time. I had (and continue to have) amazing support from family and friends who without them i don't know how i would have dealt with things the way i have. Also having the support from seeing a councillor previous to this situation arising and then continuing on to see her has also been a major factor for me to be able to keep my head held high. What has happened still is with me to this day and some that a close to us both know about it and im sure as time goes by others will find out about it. But with Mick and i working through it we have become stronger and such an amazing team. (This can all be left yet for another blog i am sure)

Back to the shows.....First up was Fitx in Melbourne :) I had never travelled for a competition before which made me a lil nervous in itself, will i forget something, how will my body respond with a flight? Will i be ready in time, how do i stop stressing?.... the list goes on. But what a great experience it was We arrived on the Thursday and got ourselves to the motel, organised food and then pretty much relaxed. Mick had his very first Men's Physique show on the Friday and we just wanted to be settled and relaxed for that. Getting to see him on stage for that was incredible i was so extremely proud of him to have followed through and make it to the stage with all that he and i were going through. This was the very first time Men's Physique was at an Australian event and we were not sure how the judging was going to go with what thy were looking for, in my eyes (non biased) i though Mick brought an incredible look and that he suits this division very much so. He placed 5th in a line up of 16/18 men.

Saturday was my turn this was my second IFBB show my first in 2011 where i think i placed 4th, i once again competed in Novice short class and i placed 2nd at this huge event. When i look at the pics i feel i was a little fluidy and not as hard as i was hoping to be im not sure if it was a combo of, stress, flight, to much walking around the day before as well as being  hormonal. But i was extremely proud of myself and had a great crowd of friends out there supporting me :) Thanks to all that came and cheered me on. The whole FitX experience was awesome, from the competition to the expo and meeting some of the awesome pros who kindly spent time to chat and encourage me to follow my goals and dreams. I love Melbourne it was a fun filled weekend :)

My second show was a week later here on the Gold Coast The IFBB All Female classic, this was an exciting event to be apart of as it was the first to be held :) after the weekend before i thought i may as well step up into Open class i had now done 4 shows and thought it would only help me see where i kind of stood in an open line up, unfortunately my line up only had 3 competitors including myself where i placed 2nd, still over the moon about this i was happy that i could see i had brought a tighter package to the stage and that was my goal for this show. It two was a great show which was run very well and i made some new friends out of it :) The day after this show i had a blast with a photo shoot with Dallas Olsen i can't wait to purchase some of those pics :)

2 weeks 2 shows and 2 second places i thought what the hell lets just do one more.... this one i planned to do purely for the experience The IFBB Australasian show held in Sydney, where Mick also joined me again in stepping on stage this season. As nervous as i was i took the stage in Open short class again and got totally smoked by the amazing girls on stage with me it was so cool though to be up on stage with new and old friends in the industry and to see just where i need to prove my physique, bring on a thicker, bigger upper body!
Once again i was happy with how i looked i feel each show i came in better and better. Mick was quite unwell on the day and still managed to get up on stage and do an awesome job :) It was an extremely long day for us both but a wicked experience.

I love competing and i already can't wait to do it all again. Thats it for this year though i have a lot of other things coming up which i am looking forward to.

A few people i'd like to give a huge shout out to that helped me get to the stage :)
My coach Layne (and his beautiful wife Isabel) he is always there through the ups and the downs and always believes in me! Thank you.
Mick through the darkest moments and the uncomfortable times you have propt me up and encouraged me to never give up, you have made me a stronger person, Thank you.
My Family - you guys are there for me no matter what... Thank you!
My friends - You guys rock there is just to many of you and I know when you read this you will smile and know who you are :) Thank you
Team Norton - What can i say you guys are frigging UNBELIEVABLE :P Keep up the awesome job Guys!
Nutrition Warehouse - my sponsors who without them i'd not get through my workouts lol! Thanks for your ongoing support and amazing supplements :)
IFBB Australia - for the great opportunities to step on stage at your wonderful shows

And last but not least i'd like to thank MYSELF for never giving up, for picking myself up after i fell and looking deep and believing i can achieve anything i put my mind to!!!

Foundations have been laid.

The time is now and my mojo has returned to me just in time. :)
Week 1 of a 20 week prep done and dusted... and this steam trains momentum is moving along quite nicely!
I am feeling in much better head space then i was say even 6 months ago just by not taking on board a lot of negativity and it's really helping.
Like i said in my last post i have a lot of work ahead of me due to the weight gain in the past 12 months but i am a determined person and will put in my all to get to the place i want to be.
My exercise - Weights and cardio are still the same as pre prep the only thing that has change so far is my calorie intake. Working with my coach in the offseason has help boost my metabolism ( still something in the future i am aiming to nail - offseason v's on season = balanced lifestyle) Just before starting prep my calorie intake was just over 2000 calories with out putting on any weight.
I am now sitting just below maintenance a lil over 1400 calories.  I work with Macronutrients (Proteins, Carbs & Fats) with the macro numbers my coach gives me i am able to put together a diet plan using a software program that i put my food into,  basically Monday to Friday i eat the same things due to easier planning and preparation. Weekends i tend to experiment with my numbers.
Something i get asked all the time is.. "What should i eat?" , "What is the best diet?", "What's your thoughts on this diet?".  At the end of the day you have to discover what works best for you. And what is likely to help you get the best results and keep you sticking to the plan... Most diets work (some are quite extreme) But as an individual its your responsibility to work out what "diet" plan works for you. Counting my macros works best for me :)
Educating yourself what is in your food (check out the nutritional panel) your eating has definitely helped me, would you feel fuller after a kilo of vegetables or a slice and half bread???
Anyhow the journey to the stage is underway more then just a journey to get my kini & heels on but i know this journey is a process of a lifestyle change for me.
i am hoping to blog on a more regular basis :)
Bring on Week 2....  BOOYA!!!

The come back!

We all make mistakes and from these mistakes its whether we choose to let go and move on or hold on and do our heads in.... For me, I'm going to be honest not letting go of some of my mistakes has not allowed me to move forward in the direction i am wanting to go. And for me being able to admit this is one of my first steps of letting go.... YAY ME!
The only thing that is getting in my road of where i want to go with my goals and dreams is me and i am really going to put the effort in to change things around. The past 12 months have been rather stressful and upsetting but i know the things i have been through and are getting through are obstacles to make me stronger, braver and will help me with more trials and errors life will throw my way.

It is almost 12 months since i stepped on the stage. I am a lil disappointed in the position i have put myself (as in weight gain) But i am not going to let that stop me from getting back up on that stage come 2013 i have already planned which shows i really want to do and am working my butt off currently to put myself in a better position. I am extremely happy to be working with my coach again and i have an amazing and supportive network of people that have been there to encourage me through all my ups and downs. I am currently 6.5 weeks from starting prep so the plan is now to really knuckle down and fine tune my lil hiccups.

Let the journey begin.... 2013 i am coming for you!!!!

Fighting for what i love!

What an interesting year so far i can't believe over half of it has gone already! 4 months since i last blogged too haha I'm a shocker.
I have no idea where this blog/rant may go but anyway here i go.......

I knew coming into this year it was going to be a year of finding balance and reevaluating things in my life. This year to date has been one interesting  roller coaster but finally i feel like I'm seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. Completion of studies i had put off for some time has lifted some stress, learning to say no to things and people in my life gives me that sense of control again, not being afraid to ask for help when needed is helping me with acceptance so there fore i do feel like things are starting to move in the direction i want. I am starting to finally believe in me again :)

People have blamed post comp blues for my headspace that i have been in the past few months, i know in myself it was more then that my headspace began before comp was over due to things in my life i was not happy with, since then slowly i have made those changes and tada my headspace is starting to turn around. (Still a few things i have to work on).

One thing i have learnt but still working on is.... Food is not the solution to ones problem lol. I'm back working with my coach again, i stopped working with him post comp due to my silly head which was probably the least smartest thing i ever did i was so worried i would fail in front of him. Hmm won't ever be doing that again. He has been amazing support and i am so grateful to be part of an inspiring, motivated and genuine team.

Currently i am 14 weeks from starting prep for my next show (34 Weeks out) Food has improved HEAPS, Training is great my biggest goals coming into this next show is fuller shoulders, arms and upper back to balance out my thicker framed legs, I'm also hoping to be leaner so i do have my work cut out for me :P The challenge is on! I'm finding having these goals to work for has lifted my intensity in my training, my passion to compete has been reunited with me and i am willing to put in the hard work to get what i want.

Mindset is everything, and i can't thank Mick enough for the encouragement and belief he has and shows for me :) You have taught me how to start to believe in me again!

I'm ready to work hard each and every day to be the person i really want to be!
My journey to the stage season 3 is underway.... this is where i will keep you updated with where and what i am up too : )

THE TIME IS NOW

Already counting down

Wow a month since my last blog I'm such a shocker!

Well i have picked the next show i am wanting to do....

FitX IFBB Amateur show in Melbourne March 2013.

I went to the one this year a couple of weeks ago and it was total inspiration plus : ) 50.5 weeks haha i love my count downs!!! I got to meet some of the amazing people in this industry International Pro's such as Nicole Wilkins, Erin Stern, Larissa Reis, Alicia Harris. And some amazing Aussie athletes too :) All in all the weekend was incredible and i got to share it with some new great friends!!! Thank you Mick for getting me there : )

So what's the plan for the next 50.5 Weeks????

I'm all about bringing something new to the stage each time i step up on there hence why i have time off to work on my areas that i'd like to improve... the goal this time round is to bring up my back, shoulders and arms as i feel my legs are quite dominating lol. I'm constantly tweeking my diet to reboot my metabolism (something i do struggle with in the offseason). And week be week i am making an improvement YAY me! I am sitting a LOT higher on the scales than i would like to be I'm hoping the more i stick to the "plan" my body composition will change and i'll get back to a more happy place.... Progression... right??? Not Perfection!!!

Training has been GREAT I'm really enjoying it at the moment I tend to train a lot on my own recently i have done a few sessions with others which has pushed me which i really liked so i think i will incorporate that a little more often.

Now that comp season is underway i always wish it was me getting ready but i know that i much prefer to have that year off, go to the drawing board and make a plan of attack last thing i want is hoping back up on stage bringing the same thing! 30 weeks till prep starts... What i do now will determine what i look like on stage this time next year i'm looking forward to training my butt off (literally hehe) and making better choices with food selections in the offseason its a lifestyle not a DIET!

My goal is to come into this next show knowing i have given it my all! In saying that time to smash out my Wednesday HIIT session!

Stay tuned for my journey to the stage ROUND 3 : )

THE TIME IS NOW!

Ready or not....Life.... It happens!

You know those days you find yourself ready to explode screaming on the inside "Something has got to give"?! Well i have had quite a few as of late!

It seems that sometimes you just have to wake up and smell the roses, get off the roller coaster of life and realise nothing is going to change unless you make it happen so that is what i am in the process of currently doing... Making some changes, some good, some bad, some hard, some scary some exciting but at the end of the day what doesn't kill us makes you stronger, you never know unless you try right?!

I know a lot of people out there have liked to put "post comp blues" as my cause of not being happy but to be honest maybe just a little in the sense that i'm not sitting where i'd like to be but also looking back comp masked a lot of my unhappiness as it was the one thing i gave my full focus and energy too and i actually shut off to any other feeling cos i feel complete and happy when i am in comp prep.

My last blog spoke about finding balance in my life and i definitely feel that I'm on the right track there. I have a wonderful support network out there from family, friends and collegues that have been able to help me head in the right direction. (You all know who you are). I'm a person who gets easily overwhelmed before taking a breather and realising all will be ok (Thank you Mick for always being there to remind me everything will be ok).

This year will be the beginning of a journey i hope to achieve close to this time next year, i know i'm still in for ups and downs, making sacrifices but most of all SELF BELIEF. Like the saying goes.. You only have one life!!! I'm ready to live this life the way i want, with who i want and how i want.

Here's to a year of making CHANGES!

With or without my mojo..... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

Whoops... Time to perfect BALANCE!!!

Well it's been over a month since my last blog, hmmm whats happened... Christmas... New Years, time flys!!!

WHOOPS!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Years Eve!!! Oh and Happy Australia day for the other day :)

It's has been over 4 months now since my last comp and have i got my shit together NOPE!!! Every week i start my plan fresh and positive and every week i let myself down, some people say it shouldn't be that hard you can diet and be strict leading up to your comp what changes after??? Well i know with me it's my headspace, everyone handles things different no ones comp experience is the same as anyone else the way they diet, exercise, respond, self motivate, everyone deals and handles things there own way so post comp some people are fine and are able to keep things together i know myself it's a huge battle. I put a lot of pressure on myself this time round thinking that because i had experienced post comp blow out after my first comp (remember this is still only my second season) i would be fine and know better... hmmm not the case at all, that emotional inner eating machine surfaced and has created some major headgames with me over the past few months :(

What is done is done and all i can do is move on and improve right?! Each week as of late has become better and better i am recognising triggers and i have an amazing support network out there from you guys (you know who you are :) )

I have already started to look at which show i am doing but it won't be until next year! This year is all about finding balance and being happy with myself something i really need to work on. As i have said in the past i really want there to be very little difference with on season and off season i want it to be my lifestyle to be fit and healthy year round, i don't want to come into each comp in the future slogging myself because post comp i become too relaxed and care free.

2012 will be the year i focus on the above.... So here is my journey....

With or without my mojo..... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

Learning how to say "No" again

Well almost a week has past since my last blog ( hey i am doing better at least it isn't months hehe) And my plan for last week... AGAIN... FAIL :(

But brand new week brand new attitude : )

*This week I WILL stick to my macros

*This week I WILL do all my sessions planned

*This week I WILL be happy

...... WHY????......

Because this is what i want and i chose to be this way : )

Right now all that is important is my happiness and by achieving what i want will bring my happiness... Santa i hope your listening hehe.

I am a person who likes structure, plans and deadlines this is why when i am prepping i feel right at home. I tend to go a little off track afterwards because i don't really have a so called plan in place ( I do but i don't realize it at the time) I really want my "on season" and "offseason" to be close i love how i feel when i eat clean, exercise regularly and make sure i get sufficient rest. For some reason i talk myself into eating junk to feel "normal" Well if that's normal i don't want to be normal :( I am already mentally preparing for my next show now i just got to get myself physically to where i would like to be sitting and tada the show rolls on!

Anyhow my Monday has started off the week great, 6am start 2 clients, step class, train, another client, work and a shbam class i think sometimes being busy is the key its the days i have a lil too much time to myself i turn to the panty or the closest 7 eleven, This week it's not going to be the case this week no matter what i WILL stick to the plan : ) I am going to keep you guys updated via Facebook and Twitter just so i feel accountable to anyone who wants to whip my ass if i fall off the wagon again lol! I do plan to have a treat meal come the weekend but that is it!

Time for me to get ready to start work....Day 2... BRING IT ON!!!

I've been in hiding...

So it's been quite sometime since i blogged last ...

Why???

I'm going to be open and honest... I haven't been in the most pleasant headspace since prep finished some may say "post comp blues" but to be honest i think it was more then just that, i think life just happened and i was not ready to face the real world and all i had been putting aside over the past few months because my main focus for was getting to that stage!

Hmm where to start...

Well Training, i have missed a few sessions here and there not many though other then that i have been going great with that keeping it up, mixing it up and trying to focus on putting on some nice thick muscle in a few areas that i'd really like to develop more (Upper Back & Shoulders). Training is not only great for my health and fitness goals of competing but i love my training for mental purposes as well, when i don't train i get angry.

Nutrition on the other hand :( I have really let myself down in this area! You know how they say "Abs are made in the Kitchen" well apparently so can the disappearance of abs too! I really thought i would have handled these so called binges better but i haven't and i have noone but my silly little headspace to blame. But i am no longer going to beat myself up about it this what i have done over the past few weeks which has lead to spiraling out and guess what??? BINGEING again. im not happy with where my weight is sitting so i have set myself some mini goals and i am determined to achieve these. I don't want to be one of those offseason competitors that have to lose 10 plus kg every season i don't want to treat my body like a dumping ground, i feel like shit i look like shit so why do it right??? No more excuses this is not the way i want to live!!!

Xmas is round the corner and honestly i am a little nervous but really is it a reason to go silly in the food department??? Those foods are and will always be a round so no need to eat like i'll never see it again hehe! It's all about smart choices.

My focus at the moment is to just take each day as it comes don't worry bout yesterday or the days to come just do what i can do in the moment right here, right now! So far this week has been off to a great start ( a lil tired and stressed) I'm just doing my best each and every day to be happy cause at the end of the day that is what matters. I'm hoping to blog a lil more regularly ( i know i know i have said this before) .

I really want to thank everyone out there that has been extremely supportive this year a few i would like to mention Mick, Sarah , Mum & Dad, Layne & Isabel, Jodie & Shane, Lou & Marley, Tracey, Sue,Val, Stu, Dan & Fairly, Shannon, Skye, Nicky,Vic, Kristin, Tiarna, My M'bah Gym buddies, my new friends from World Gym Ashmore and everyone out there who has helped me achieve what i have ( sorry if i missed you but i know there is so many out there i would like to thank). Also a special mention to my amazing sponsor Nutrition Warehouse.

Until next time... Train Hard, Eat clean and Believe!!!

With or without my mojo the time is NOW!!!

The journey has been, the storm has come and now I'm riding the waves!

Since my last post lots has happened.....

I competed in my very first IFBB show WOOHOO a major goal i was wanting to achieve this year. It took a lot in my head to stay committed to this show as i was extremely scared to go into a non tested show as a natural i constantly worried i just wasn't going to be good enough and that i would not look right up on that stage. Well i had a ball and i am so glad i did this show what a great experience :) To make it up on the stage was just amazing but to even be in quite a number of call outs i left this show feeling satisfied and proud of myself : ) i am told that i came 4th out of a pretty big line up so im pretty pumped about that as well.

So what was the next plan...... I had booked in a photo shoot and was planning to also do the INBA Universe but in the end cancelled photo shoot and decided that my heart was not in it to do the Universe as it was not really in "the plan" anyway it was just a "what's 2 more weeks dieting? heck i'll do it" well in the end my head just didn't want to go there again and i was more then satisfied with what i had achieved in the 2 shows i had planned to do : ) In total 2 x 1st places a 4th and a 5th. Not only that i have also scored an amazing sponsorship with a fantastic company Nutrition Warehouse which i am extremely overwhelmed by : )

Here comes the bit that i was scared of the most... The aftermath.... FOOD.... FOOD and more FOOD!!! As you may know i work with macro nutrients and after my comps my coach gave me my new macros & cardio plan to work with which basically doubled my intake.... was that enough apparently NOT!!! For the past 3 weeks i have been battling hard with the constant head games of gorging myself :( I really thought i would have handled this much better and some days i am totally feeling in control and stick to the plan other days i just lose it and find myself alone eating like there is about to become a famine :( No seriously the average person would think yeah what ever Hannah i literally eat until i hurt :( I eat food i don't even like, i hate how it makes me feel, i hate how i look and the spiral continues and guess what more food!!! I was even so embarrassed to tell my coach but finally decided it was best i brought it up he told me more people go through this then you think! I remember after my last comp i felt like one day i woke up and i was 10kg heavier ( which was only week after my comp) Not only that with my first comp my starting weight was 62kg stage weight 52kg i tipped the scales at 67kg at the beginning of 2010 and i promised myself i would never do that again. 2011 my starting weight was 64kg i got as low as 51kg for stage and now i am sitting between 54-57kg depending on obviously if i have had a gorging session or not!

After my first comp i planned to do another comp a year later in 2010 i couldn't i had smashed my metabolism so much that my body just would not respond when trying to drop weight this was when i started working with my coach and for the rest of 2010 to pre comp prep we worked on getting my metabolism fired up again! I do not want to go down that path again. I know that stage weight is not maintainable i do know you need to put on a little bit of weight my aim is to keep it minimal as possible. If i do not take control of these binges ASAP this will not happen. I am the only one that can make this happen. I have some had amazing support from some special guys and girls and i want to thank them all so much! Today is a brand new day and i am ready to take action! Winners are made in the offseason... I want to live a healthy, happy lifestyle. And at the end of the day what i want is all that matters. My life... My choices! Today is the day WITH OR WITHOUT MY MOJO i start preparing the stepping stones to my next goal. No one can prepare you for post comp blues and it was something that was on the back of my mind through prep.

I can't thank Mick enough for supporting me through all these highs and lows he has been amazing the belief he has in me is just utterly amazing! I would not achieved what i have without his encouragement, love and passion for this sport as well. THANK YOU MICK :)

Well the show must go on... Time to slog out another weights session... new program... new mindset... NEW ME : )

I WILL CONQUER....... BOOYA!!!

Recap of show...2011 Qld Inba State Titles

Wow well it's been and gone!

And this is the first chance i have had since the show to sit down and write about it.

Lets back track.....

Thursday:

Things were really starting to sink in that the show was coming up, i worked that morning and the vibe at work was great cause everyone has been counting down and getting excited with me : ) After work i had weights session to do then it was off with my lil sis to go shopping for all that girly stuff i'm not good at hehe! We got makeup, hair ext, jewelry and it was really nice getting to spend time with her. After hours of walking round grabbing this stuff was time to head home and jump on the bike for a cardio.

Friday:

I usually have an open shift getting up at 4:00am so it was nice to have a little sleep in! But as per usual i get lost when i am home by myself hehe so i headed off and got my nails done after spending some time trying to put in my hair extensions lol! Then back home organised food and procrastinated (something i have down to a fine art lol) That afternoon i headed into work where i did some circuit training!

Saturday:

Now the nerves were really starting to kick in.. Butterflies in my tummy !! That morning i got up and to a point was dreading my meals for he day they were basically Chicken, Sweet Potato and Peanut butter mmm what a combo lol! First lot of Tan was applied then was time to go do a light circuit and pick my sis and get ready to head to Brisvegas!

Got up there registered then off to where we were staying, while Mick headed off to train at our old favorite gym in Mt Gravatt - Club Bjs, my sister and i had a lil play with hair and how we were going to do it for the day... My idea = Curls... Hmm didn't happen lol but happy with what we did with it i really like to keep it simple anyway! Saturday flew by! I forced myself to try go to sleep at decent time but i just kept waking up!

Sunday:

Show day! Surprisingly i think i got my best sleep early hours of the morning and when my alarm went off i did not really want to get up! First up was a meal Mmm steak and sweet potato :) , Shower... Tan.... Hair... Makeup! Time to roll!

All i remember when we were driving there that i can't believe that it was time i had been wanting to a comp for such a long time and this time i finally got here again WOOHOO... GO ME! I was so glad to have Mick and Sarah with me they were such a great help leading up and supporting me though this journey!

I competed in two categories... Figure International Short class and Figure Intermediate. First up was Figure International which is only judged on symmetry poses. There was 18 girls in this lineup and to be honest i was quite hesitant to do this category but at last minute decided why not more time on stage :) I came 1st!!! Which put me in the lineup for Overall Figure International where i had to go up against the winner of the 40+ Figure International and Figure International Tall class this was bout 10 mins later and still is a lil foggy LOL but i won OVERALL OMG!!!! You should see my trophy it's bloody HUGE i remember nearly falling over with it on stage hehe!

After showing my trophy off to my wonderful supporters it was time to start getting ready again for the next line up. By this stage i was feeling rather flat and exhausted i really wished i had of put my feet up a lil more by the time i stepped on stage for figure intermediate (the category i was mainly doing) i was popped i struggled with posing and just was tired i got 5th out of 12 girls it was a really tough line up and from pics i think i was out muscled and not as lean as the others. I'm still happy with how i placed being my second show... I can't believe how fast the day came and went.

Afterwards i just couldn't wait for a shower. Mick and i headed home and decided to go out for a dinner date it's been a very long year the first half Mick prepped for his show in May and second half its been me, so it was lovely to go out and have a meal together.

So what's next??? Currently prepping for the next show that i am aiming to do in 5 days this will be my first IFBB comp which i am super excited about doing but at the same time scared. After this show i will evaluate on what's next my aim is to take each show as it comes and see how i feel after.. Possibly doing the Universe as well but like i said we will see. One thing at a time!

Well that's it for me started peak weak this week which always makes me a lil nervous... Now time to enjoy the journey... Watch this space... THE TIME IS NOW!

( I tried uploading more pics but i have very little patience lol)

And then there was 3 : )

Seriously i have not been this excited in a LONG time : )
The last time i think i counted down for something hmm was Phat camp last year lol. This week is flying by woohoo!
Still feel a lil funny about the food i am having at the moment but just trying my best to trust the process, my body seems to be responding well let's hope it stays that way. Yesterday i didn't get around to blogging i had a stinking headache think possibly due to the departure of my good friend Pepsi Max lol but by the time i got home after my split shift day at work i was seriously pooped it was a struggle to get everything organised for the day but made it to be by 9 to be up nice and early this morning!
Today is my last day at work till next Tuesday i finish at Midday have a training session to do then it's off to pick up my sis and do some girly shoping YAY!!
3 MORE SLEEPS....
May report in later about how day has been and where i am at!

5 sleeps :)

It's just like counting down till xmas lol!

Today started off with a refreshing walk along the beach front as the sun came up omg it was just a stunning morning i couldn't sleep each day i am getting more and more excited, the vibe on the footpath was great everyone was cheery and welcoming the day!

I then came home and started on the carbs OMG how full do i feel after today! My staple carb sources today was oats and banana and what a simple but yummy combination it was!

All fueled up i had an early morning Weights session on the cards as i had to be home for house inspection... First weights session for the week... Legs!!! Now let's just say even though i didn't go to my usual all out, kick ass, lift heavy shit typical leg day what i did do bloody burnt hehe i love training legs! A nice solid hour in the gym then it was home to prep rest of food for the day and back to the gym to work!

My lunch box had not looked so full in such a long time hehe not only that my poor lil belly by the end of the day is looking rather full too hehe!

I had a few testing moments arise through the day where meltdown mode nearly kicked in but with my amazing support crew i have i kept it together and all is sorted pheww!

So ready to bring on hump day, two more days of work then its time to get things all organised woohoo!

I see there is close to 200 people(and im sure there will be a more to register) competing this weekend it's going to be HUGE!

Well time to hit the sack thats if i contain my excitement hehe.... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

6 Days... (and counting)

So peak week has begun... i don't follow a traditional peak week which sometimes plays with my head a bit but i just got to stick to the plan and trust coach : )

Started my day off with my first cardio for the week and final HIIT session smashed it out on the spin bike. My quads are a lil sore from posing and the cardio sessions as of late but all is good.

Energy for today was great funny what a few extra carbs does lol! ( oh and hello veins) It's starting to really sink in not only am i excited but the excitement from people around me is so cool... Thanks guys!

Was really weird not teaching my Step and Jam class today but the break will be great it's been awhile since i have had a lil rest from them. I am working up until midday Thursday then its just organizing final bits and pieces, accessories, nails etc.

Wow how motivating was the Olympia those girls are just incredible and so are the guys! Oh i love getting goosebumps watching what i love! One day i will make it there and i will be like a kid in a candy store lol ; )

Well the sooner i head to bed another day is gone WOOHOO! Tomorrow is 5 Days BOOYA!

................Stay tuned for 5 days out : )

Enjoying the simple things Mmmmm.......

I'm almost there!

Not 7 Months... Not 7 Weeks...ONLY 7 DAYS! : )

I seriously can not believe how fast this has all gone. I remember which feels not that long ago counting down from 20 Weeks wow it has gone so quick.

So the question is... Am i ready???

Well let's just say the past week has been a whopper of an emotional roller coaster ride. One minute i feel on top of the world and ready as ever and the next i question everything and don't feel ready at all. I pick myself to pieces like i wanted to be leaner and i want to be musclier but if i put my pics together from 2009 to now there is a pretty big change... a good change i guess no matter what you always want better! And i know with time, discipline and dedication i will get to where i wanna be gosh this is only my second ever show! I am just over the moon to be getting back up on that stage!

I have sat down this morning and worked out my meals for the final week after coach gave me my macros and exercise he wants me doing! I'm pretty excited although as normal a lil nervous, don't do that typical water load or deplete like a lot of others do so i just got to keep in the right mind frame and focus just on me and my journey!

I am really looking forward to all the girly bits that comes with the day... Hair, Make up, heels etc i guess cos on any other day i wear gym attire and feel like a tomboy lol! My sis is also coming along and helping me with some final shopping and helping me with stuff which is going to be great she has only just moved back home from WA and it's just so great to have her home again!

Not only am i getting myself excited but my support network is too i have some really amazing friends that have done nothing but encourage and been there no matter along the way and they are just as excited as me hehe! We have done this journey together and i am forever thankful to have them in my life ( You know ho you are my darlings).

And yes another MAJOR shout out to my Mickles who has been my ROCK this prep i could not have done this with out him THANK YOU!!!

Well 7 days hmm what a journey i have learnt so much about myself, I am so proud that i have done this again and coped a lot better then last time.

A lil inspiration from Yesterdays Olympia 2011 Figure Girls Pre Judging... Who do you want to win?? Im thinking:

1st - Nicole Wilkins

2nd - Erin Stern

3rd - Ava Cowan (Would love to see her win though)

Peak week..... Here we go : )

The countdown continues!

I just checked out my last post which the title was "6 weeks" .... it is now 2.5 weeks WOW it's speeding by now and approaching fast!

I have started putting together lists of things i need to do, complete or even achieve in the given day lol I'm starting just these last few days to feel a little foggy and tired. But with 18 days till i step on that stage for the 2nd time i will give each and every session my everything.

What i have been up to.... Between work, prep and general living there has not been much room for socializing, and or getting any of my study done. I have been very lucky that Mick has been a HUGE help every night i get home from work (anywhere between 7-9pm) he has prepped most or all my food for the next day and all i have to do is cook it! What an angel right!!!! Not only that his support has been incredible and somedays i know he doesn't feel as though i appreciate what he has done but my god i do... Thank you Mickles MWAH! I love that i get to share this experience with him and i hope that i have and continue to support him in the same ways he has supported me!

I am loving my training and surprisingly I'm still not losing much strength somedays i may walk into a session feeling a lil tired and fatigued but by the time i have finished i am feeling de-stressed and happy with what effort i have been able to put in. Cardio on the other hand can be a lil bit of a struggle sometimes, i teach 4 classes a week and i don't really count them as my body is so used to them if i do extra one week i take them into consideration as a moderate session and i am now currently doing 4 HIIT sessions and 4 Moderate sessions a week! I am lucky enough to have a bike at home that when i am stuck for time i can jump on and bang out one of these sessions. But all in all i have been happy with my consistency with my sessions.

Nutrition is going great it has only been the last 5 days or so that i have been a little noticeably hungrier then normal which at 3 weeks out i am guessing is a pretty good sign. I have had many comments of people saying stuff like " i bet you can't wait to see the end of those egg whites" to be quite honest i really enjoy the food i eat and i look at food a lot different to what i may have say 18mths ago i try and see food more as fuel for my workouts and to get me through the day. Don't get me wrong today i could so go something sweet and creamy hehe but i know these feelings come and go! I'm hoping once comp season is over i can still manage to look at my approach to food the same and not fall into old habits.

Sleep.... this prep i have experienced quit a lot of restless nights some with very little sleep and wow i do not function well with out my sleep as you could imagine hehe i have never experienced in the past bad sleeping patterns i am a pretty strong sleeper if i had too i could see myself as being able to sleep comfortable at a rock concert lol. I'm sure these will pass maybe it's nerves it could be a lot of different things causing this. I am just taking each day as it comes.

Well it's time for me to head off and continue on with my day i have a HIIT session to do and teaching a Jam class tonight.

2.5 Weeks.... 18days...

Time to bring it home strong....

WITH OR WITHOUT MY MOJO... THE TIME IS NOW!!!

WISH ME LUCK : )

6 Weeks..... SIX WEEKS!!!

The count down continues and wow is it flying by! I am now, like the title says 6 Weeks out from the QLD INBA show and to be honest i am starting to shit myself, hehe! It seems one week I'm kicking ass mentally and then the next week i hit rock bottom, and this week has been one of those struggle street weeks! For no reason the scales decided to play tricks on me this week out of no where... we were pretty tight for a while and then bang they bloody turned against me lol! But in all honestly i feel a lil less stressed this prep i kind of know what to expect and I'm just going along with it all, this week i think things will be stepped up another notch, this is to be expected though i have been cruising along the last few weeks and I'm ready to turn it up! 6 more weeks of blood sweat and tears is nothing hehe just got to take each day as it comes i guess!

I've been asked quite a bit what it is i am craving for after show etc and to be honest there is nothing much that i REALLY want. I'm hopping to do possibly another show or 2 (If i qualify) so i don't want to gorge myself silly and this would be the case whether i do more shows or not! I have really tried to look at me struggle with over indulging over the past 2 years and i try and see food as fuel and not just comfort and im feeling good about it all... YAY! We will see what happens though!

Well just a lil post today time to get ready to head off and sprint my lil heart out! I hope everyone is enjoying there weekend!